Breakdown on the road through New Zealand's Southern Alps
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| Isthmus Peak walk, New Zealand |
You are a traveller. You are sitting in the middle seat of a 20 year old Nissan Caravan chugging desperately up a mountain tunnel stretching away from Milford Sound, New Zealand. The tunnel looks as if it had been carved out by the dwarves of Middle Earth long, long ago. There are metal reinforcements bolted slap-shod along the walls of the tunnel that seem slightly battered and are dripping with water. You expect the whole thing to collapse at any minute.
Your companions are silent. The bearded one is trying to avoid potholes on the darkened road. The curly haired one has the permanent grimace of an oncoming driver moments before a head on collision.
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| At the entrance to Homer Tunnel near Milford Sound |
You survive the tunnel and drive back along the road away from Milford Sound, then through Queenstown. There is a campsite at Moke Lake that can only be accessed by an 8km dirt road. You stay there for two nights. Without any phone signal, you must keep yourself entertained with lake swimming, long walks and a word puzzle game called Boggle.
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| Lake Dispute near Moke Lake |
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| The road to Moke Lake |
You eventually head back to Queenstown. Parking the van for two hours costs you as much as one night's stay at Moke Lake campground. You get a burger from Fergburger, which is every bit as good as people say it is (which is very, very good).
The next stop is near Lake Hawea. Your companions will take you on a six hour hike up Isthmus Peak. It's a steady climb that reaches a 1,385m peak. The climb is spectacular and very, very hot. Your companions stop climbing every five minutes to catch their breath.
At the peak, the bearded one disturbs the peace with the harsh 'ker-chunk' of his ageing Nikon camera. He takes multiple panoramas, the shutter rings out in the still air like a rusty spring mattress. You fight the urge to push him off an overhanging cliff.
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| Isthmus Peak walk |
As you prepare to leave Lake Hawea Hotel, the campervan struggles to start. The bearded one pumps some gas into the engine and it eventually fires up. You think nothing of it and continue on the journey through the Haast Pass and on to Jackson Bay.
Jackson Bay is a secluded fishing village an hours drive in the opposite direction of your next campsite. The bearded one is desperate to go there because he read about it once in National Geographic Traveller. The road to Jackson Bay is dead-straight and bumpy. This means that you can fly down it at 100km/h, but you will often hit a bump and slam your head on the roof and knock your back teeth as you land again.
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| The Cray Pot at Jackson Bay |
After a stomach-churning drive you eventually reach Jackson Bay. It’s remarkable how peaceful it is. There is one restaurant, The Cray Pot, which sells you a can of no-name cola for NZ$5. You enjoy the stillness, sitting in the van hiding from sandflies, sipping your expensive can of cola and watching fishermen fix up a boat.
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| Jackson Bay |
You head back down the same road, stopping at a petrol station to refuel. Again, you struggle to start the car. The garage attendant laughs as it finally fires up.
“She’s a beauty,” he says.
You drive towards Fox Glacier and stop off to make some coffee using the cooking stove, which is located in the boot. A while after setting off you notice that the cooking stove is still out. The bearded one decides to pull into a farm junction to put it away.
The junction leads onto a field where cows are calmly chewing grass. They look puzzled by your arrival. You certainly wouldn’t choose it. This is an area with no phone signal beside a full-speed state highway. And as the bearded one slows the van it cuts out and won’t start again. You are stranded.
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| Stranded |
