Ten days in Malaysia

Long-tailed macaques at Batu Caves, Kuala Lumpur

You are a traveller. You’re sweating from head to toe. The air is hot and wet with moisture as you climb the walkway to Kerachut Beach in Malaysia. The wood that surrounds you smells like a sauna.

Your companions are dragging sore limbs behind you. The curly-haired one has tied her locks up into a bun. The bearded one has sweat so much that his hands are starting to wrinkle, his camera has overheated and will no longer work.

Once you reach Kerachut Beach a man tries to charge you 50 Malaysian Ringgit to see turtles (£10). You refuse, and instead walk another 100 meters to the free turtle sanctuary. There are turtle hatchlings swimming carefree in  a small pool at the entrance. You learn that the conservation project collects turtle eggs as soon as they're hatched on the beach, incubating them and ensuring the population grows.

Turtles at Kerachut Beach

Your companions are too cheap to hire a boat back to the start of the path. This means you will have to walk back through the sauna-woods. When you arrive at the start you immediately buy the largest bottle of water you can find and sit gulping it while waiting for the bus to George Town.

You board the bus and it travels back at the speed of light, the driver seems intent on killing every moped rider he sees but they skilfully evade him.

George Town graffiti

That night you nurse your dehydration at a couple of bars in George Town. The area you're staying in feels touristy and expensive, but you find a tiny place called Chulia Betel Nut Tree Cafe that does cans of Skol for RM6. You sit and watch life go by in all its manic beauty on Chulia Street.

Little India, George Town

Next you visit Malacca to the south of Kuala Lumpur. The UNESCO portion of Malacca is  a vibrant mixture of culture with Indian, Chinese, Malaysian and western restaurants built alongside shrines, mosques, temples and churches. This is an ancient trade town, and the melange of intercultural influence is fascinating. You spend the day walking the streets.

You eat a feast of Chinese food at Mori Vegetarian Tea House. Later you have a traditional south Indian style rice platter (served on a banana leaf) and a massala thosai (a savoury pancake filled with curried potato) at Selvam. After struggling with Japan’s  meat-heavy cuisine, your vegetarian companions are elated with the range of choice they have in Malaysia. They start to gain weight.

Kampung Kling Mosque, Malacca

You eat lunch at Wild Coriander, which serves up a unique Malaysian rice dish. The bearded one has never tasted sambal (a dipping sauce with cinnamon and chili) before. He’s blown away by it. “I bet this is what spice tastes like on Arrakis,” he says, making reference to Frank Herbert’s Dune. It’s embarrassing to be around. You hide your face in shame.

Next you visit Kuala Lumpur. Your hostel in KL has a very weird vibe. There's a woman in the common area who seems to be intent on staring at you without saying a word, making that space a no-go zone. There is a man in your dorm who has never left. He appears to sleep during the day, flicking his curtain with irritation when you come into the room. Then he will awake at night and sit under the bright glow of a laptop screen. The entire room smells like his feet.

Your dorm room bunk overlooks China Town below, so you can spend time watching the red lanterns sway while lying awake, unable to sleep with the sound of a broken fan whirring next to your head.

China Town, Kuala Lumpur

In the evening you visit the Petronas Twin Towers, and get stuck outdoors in some intense Malaysian rain. Huge groups of tourists dressed in summer clothing huddle underneath cover, waiting for golf ball sized droplets to quit hammering the earth.

Petronas Twin Towers, Kuala Lumpur

You are soaked by the time you reach Water Lily Restaurant, where you are comforted by a warm pot of tea. You eat a delicious faux-meat satay platter and bbq noodles.

At Water Lily Restaurant

During the day you visit the Batu Caves. These caves are over 400 million years old, and the Batu Malai Sri Murugan Temple is built inside the formation. There is a 140ft statue of Lord Murugan just in front of the 272 step climb up into the cave.

Shrines inside the Batu Caves

There are hordes of long-tailed macaques running around the caves. The bearded one spends a long time trying to photograph them. It's disappointing that none of them venture close enough to steal his gear.

Monkeys at Batu Caves

As you head back to the station you see the Ramayana Caves on the right. The huge caves inside are filled with glittering dioramas depicting the life of Lord Rama. Outside there is a 50ft statue of Hanuman with excellent calf definition.

Diorama at Ramayana Caves

In the city you eat at Happy Sambodi Vege Restaurant. You have a dish made with smokey flat noodles called a char kway teow. In the seating area at the back of the restaurant there are women making dumplings on a table. A small kid is eating a home made lunch of noodles at a table next to you. He runs off distracted, hugs his dad’s knees as we pay our bill. It's a family run business.

You are flying out early in the morning, so you take a Grab taxi to the airport. You nervously watch the car’s speedometer max out at 140km/h down the highway. Your driver is flawlessly rapping the verse to Rihanna and Eminem’s legendary duet ‘Love the Way You Lie.’ You are too nervous to join in. Somehow you make it to the airport, safe and sound, and depart to Nepal.